I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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