i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
