the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
