You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize