There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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