something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
