Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
