I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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