and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
