My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
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I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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