3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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