you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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