her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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