I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we're making bets on your personal life
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
