It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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