TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
