I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
