I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
