He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
