Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
