I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
