i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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