boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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