ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize