how can u be prego again
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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