He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
