it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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