we made out on top of his cat.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize