You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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