i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
