Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
