so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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