I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
