So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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