think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
