I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
