he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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