Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize