Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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