Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize