and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
