Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
