Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
