I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Mom said you looked used
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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