Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
