Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
