right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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