Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
