Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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