Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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