he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
