The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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