I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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