Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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