We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
