pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
