I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
