So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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