I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
NoShamevember. You game?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
