we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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